And that’s an order.

If you’re keen on following voting results in Minnesota, WCCO News is supposed to be featuring a map that shows the returns.  The feature doesn’t seem to be appearing at this time, but check this page tomorrow to see if it shows up.

Phineas F. A. Pickerel


Today marks the one-year anniversary of Fish Wrap.  In that year, Fish Wrap writers have written 257 posts and the blog has received 16,031 views.  Our most popular post, with 1,145 views, is 9/11 Conspiracy Theory – Zeitgeist by Brooke Trout.  The day that received the most hits was Tuesday, June 24, 2008.  That was the day that Gordon Wheeler, Sr., held county commissioners hostage at the Morrison County Courthouse.  The two posts that caused the flurry of hits were Outrage (232 hits) and Sanity in the Courts (40 hits).

While those popular posts dealt with serious topics, one of my favorite posts, written by Suckerlip Blenny, is a humorous post that hasn’t had nearly enough hits in this fish’s humble opinion (a mere 10).  It’s called Bat Boy Moonlighting in Morrison County and it’s got pictures.  Bat Boy is a cultural hero, having been spawned in the pages of the Weekly World News.  We’re pleased he’s decided to make his home in Morrison County.

On that note, we’d like to thank our readers for checking in with us over the year and wish Fish Wrap a happy anniversary.

Bubbling happily in the pond,

Phineas F. A. Pickerel

The following is a report from Fish Wrap Correspondent Black Molly:


On Friday, July 11, 2008, the Morrison County government and citizens bade a fond farewell to County Administrator Tim Houle.  Tim has served the county since 1994, first as County Coordinator and then, when the county narrowly approved the redefinition of the position, as County Administrator.  Houle is leaving Morrison County in order to serve as the new Crow Wing County Administrator, a position he was a candidate for in 2000.

The afternoon event was filled with gratitude for the work Houle has done for the county and region from such dignitaries as Representative Al Doty, the Morrison County Commissioners, former Representative Steve Wenzel, and several commissioners from adjoining counties.  One of the Crow Wing County Commissioners spoke at the event, saying that Houle had induced a rare unanimous vote among Crow Wing’s Commissioners when the decision was made to hire him.

Senator Paul Koering had attended the event earlier in the afternoon, but was unable to stay to present Houle with a plaque of appreciation.  This, along with other plaques and gifts, was presented through the course of the afternoon.

Along with expressing thanks for his work and sharing congratulatory remarks, county staff gave Houle a bit of a roasting.  Perhaps toasting would be a more appropriate word, but not toasting in the sense of raising a glass.  Instead, employees of Morrison County Public Health presented Houle with a golden toaster, a symbol of Houle having banned the use of a toaster in the Public Health office after several incidents of burnt toast set off fire alarms in the Government Center.

Further, Houle was presented with a Superman “S” to wear on his chest after making public remarks about the fact that he was an ordinary guy who didn’t have a big red “S” underneath his shirt.  Several comments were also made about the reflectiveness of Houle’s head and how Nathan Richardson, one of the county’s founders, and Houle were rivals in the head size department.

The presentation ended with Houle saying that he had played only a small part in the county’s accomplishments and that everyone, from the front-line county workers dealing with the public on up to the County Commissioners, was responsible for how well the county is being run.

In this fish’s opinion, Houle’s modesty is sincere, but he most assuredly deserves credit for the leadership he has brought to Morrison County and his use of that leadership to inspire those in the county to provide friendly and efficient service to Morrison County’s citizens.

We’re going to miss you, Tim.  Thanks for your dedication and service.

Your Fish Wrap Correspondent,

Black Molly

I know you homo sapiens, especially the males among your species, can’t wait for the special event coming up this weekend – and I don’t mean Mother’s Day.  I quake at the thought of mentioning it:  The Fishing Opener.  Why must you insist upon hooking us by the lip?  [Let your eyes follow my waving tail fin.  That’s it, follow along.  Back and forth.  You are getting very sleepy.]   Why must you insist on hooking us at all?  [You don’t like fish.  We’re hard to clean.  We’re filled with mercury.] If you can’t resist the Fishing Opener, at least give us a chance by using the catch and release technique.   [Fishing is boring.  And worms and leeches make your hands slimy. You don’t want to go fishing.  Skip the Fishing Opener.]  Take it from me, it’s more fun to say “hi” to a fish than to eat one.  [You may wake up now, as long as you’ve slept through the Fishing Opener.]

A fish incognito,

Phineas F. A. Pickerel

On Saturday, March 29, 2008, Earth Hour invites people around the world to turn off their lights for one hour,  from 8:00pm to 9:00pm in their local time zone. Today, cities around the world, including Copenhagen, Chicago, Melbourne, Dubai, and Tel Aviv, will hold events to acknowledge their commitment to energy conservation.

What’s your carbon footprint?: Carbon Calculator,

Jump in the Water is Fine,

Brooke Trout

Seems an ironic coincidence that I have a friend totally unrelated to Fish Wrap who uses the pseudonym Orange Ruffy. During the day I know her as Mary, a recent graduate, teacher and 40 something mother of 5. But in and around all of that she is one of the North Star Roller Girls and skates under the pseudonym Orange Ruffy because…well she has red hair.


At last weekends bout at the Minneapolis Convention Center Orange Ruffy slipped in a bathroom stall and hit the toilet which then dislodged from the wall spraying her with ice cold toilet water an incident I’ll call the Kohler Plunge.  As an encore performance and to raise money for the Special Olympics Orange Ruffy and the North Star Roller Girls will be taking the Polar Plunge today in Minneapolis.

Help them reach their fund-raising goal and by donating today to the Special Olympics.

The Special Olympics link will bring you to the Find a Team web page, click Minneapolis then use the drop down menu and scroll to North Star Roller Girls…if for no other reason than to read some of their outrageous names like Ida Kildher.

Not just any lunar eclipse refracted light will turn the Moon a dusky red and tonight there will be a rare bonus, Saturn will be visible, for those of us in North America. The ringed planet will be 3.5 degrees above and to the left of the moon’s center at midtotality. At the same moment, the bright bluish star Regulus will sit just 2.8 degrees above and to the right of the moon. This double event will be the only one of its kind occurring within the next millennium!

Image Display

Happy Mooning!

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