The donkey has been stolen from the manger scene on display at Lindbergh Elementary School in Little Falls, MN. So reports the Morrison County Record in its December 23, 2007, edition. The baby Jesus has been stolen twice before, so the Lindbergh Lions, who sponsor and take care of the display, didn’t bother to put him out this year. What good is a manger scene without the Christ child?

Some might condemn me for finding this incredibly humorous. What lends humor to the situation is the ransom note left behind by the “twisted sisters,” who want a million dollars in Monopoly money, three live chickens, “7 maids a milken, and a pare tree,” and for “sexy to be brought back,” whatever that means. Oh, and they want some smokes, too. A pack of Marlboro Red 100s.

What the “twisted sisters” don’t realize is that they may have hit upon a solution to all the enmity caused by displaying Christian scenes and symbols on public property. If pranksters start stealing the symbols and scenes, people will think twice before displaying them.

While I take no issue with religious organizations displaying items of faith on private property (their own, or that of consenting property owners), I do take issue with the display of religious items on public property when the displays favor one religion over the others. This is what we have come to in America today. Christianity has become the de facto public religion and if anyone complains about it, well they’re just too sensitive and they should just get over it.

Since when has it become illegal in the United States to practice a religion other than Christianity? Have Christians forgotten their history? (Did some of them ever know it?) At one time, their religion was the repressed one and they were persecuted. Now some Christians are attempting to turn the tables in a land where religious plurality is supposed to be the rule. Be careful of wishing for a totalitarian state of any kind. You just might get it.

Oh, and “twisted sisters?” Pony up the donkey. Stealing is not nice, although you do get a few kudos for a creative ransom note.

Happy Holidays to Fish Wrap readers of all faiths, and to agnostics and atheists everywhere.

From my pond to yours,

Phineas F. A. Pickerel