It jumped right out at me.  Who could miss it?  From the wording, it looked as though people entering Little Falls had a shot at scoring some drugs.  Quite unfortunate, in my opinion.  Here was the headline on the front page of this week’s Morrison County Record:

Crack found on CR 76 bridge heading into Little Falls

Not “Structural crack found.”  Not “Crack found in . . . .”  Nope.  “Crack found on . . . .”  Sounds like fodder for Jay Leno’s Headlines segment.

As if that wasn’t enough, here’s a headline from the Court and Crimes section of the same paper:

Flensburger arrested for false calls*

I thought, hmm, who is this man called Flensburger?  I read the article and discovered that the man’s name is not Flensburger at all.  Ohhh, I get it.  Flensburger is a fancy way of saying “a resident of Flensburg.”  Not in all my years as a Morrison County resident have I ever heard someone from Flensburg called a Flensburger.  You know, it sounds like a fancy hamburger, doesn’t it?  Maybe the good folks of Flensburg should whip something up and market it.

Blissfully blowing bubbles up to the surface,

P.F.A. Pickerel

*(You’ll not find the same headline for the story online as the one that appeared in the actual newspaper.  Sometimes it pays to wait for the paper edition.)