It jumped right out at me. Who could miss it? From the wording, it looked as though people entering Little Falls had a shot at scoring some drugs. Quite unfortunate, in my opinion. Here was the headline on the front page of this week’s Morrison County Record:
Crack found on CR 76 bridge heading into Little Falls
Not “Structural crack found.” Not “Crack found in . . . .” Nope. “Crack found on . . . .” Sounds like fodder for Jay Leno’s Headlines segment.
As if that wasn’t enough, here’s a headline from the Court and Crimes section of the same paper:
Flensburger arrested for false calls*
I thought, hmm, who is this man called Flensburger? I read the article and discovered that the man’s name is not Flensburger at all. Ohhh, I get it. Flensburger is a fancy way of saying “a resident of Flensburg.” Not in all my years as a Morrison County resident have I ever heard someone from Flensburg called a Flensburger. You know, it sounds like a fancy hamburger, doesn’t it? Maybe the good folks of Flensburg should whip something up and market it.
Blissfully blowing bubbles up to the surface,
P.F.A. Pickerel
*(You’ll not find the same headline for the story online as the one that appeared in the actual newspaper. Sometimes it pays to wait for the paper edition.)