One more from last week’s Morrison County Record:

Did you know that businesses in the City of Little Falls have to buy a permit in order to go out of business?  Isn’t that odd?  Here, we’re going to make you pay for the privilege of being unsuccessful.  Ostensibly, this ordinance was passed because “some businesses advertised they were going out of business and then brought in truck loads of goods,” according to City Council member Mike Doucette.   Further, he explained that if you don’t advertise that you’re going out of business, then you don’t have to pay for the permit.

First of all, how many businesses don’t advertise that they are going out of business?  What do you mean by advertising?  A sign on the building?  An ad in the Record or on the local radio stations?  Why is advertising the deciding factor?  Even if the closing business doesn’t advertise, it could still bring in a truckload of goods to sell.  What does this matter if the business is truly closing?  I could see it becoming an issue if the business closing became perpetual, with a continual line of trucks coming endlessly forever, but if this were the case, the business wouldn’t truly be closing, would it?

Tip of the day:  Never buy seafood out of the back of a semi.

Yours swimmingly,

Phineas F. A. Pickerel